During the day I feel girlish and I want to wear makeup and dress masculine, yet with a feminine air - 

but at night, when I sleep in my bed in boxers and without a shirt I feel completely uninhibitted and more masculine than a testosterone infused body builder…and it’s amazing. I feel complete. Whenever I cuddle with someone, I’m the big spoon…and let’s not get started on afterhours. 

-sigh-

I just don’t know. I’m just confused.  Oh, and I hate the term lesbian. I don’t know why. I just prefer gay if I’m to be labeled.